A fair and balanced “Voices In Conflict”

Posting on MyLeftNutmeg yesterday, bigdavefromqueens published Principal Tim Canty’s version of “Voices In Conflict”:

SOLDIER 1

Hi everybody.

SOLDIER 2

Hello, Soldiers 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

SOLDIER 3

I love Iraq. It’s 110 degrees and Soldier 1 gets the body armor today while the rest of us don’t.

SOLDIER 4

I’m going to munch on my can of Halliburton sardines which according to the can expired seven months ago. I am so thankful for being here, getting this free food.

SOLDIER 5

I’ve just had half my leg blown off by some IED. It must have been an accident. Everybody loves us here.

SOLDIER 6

I heard Osama Bin Laden attacked us on 9/11 and I’m so glad George W Bush came to Iraq and hung Osama Bin Laden, the leader of Iraq.

SOLDIER 1

Uh. Um. (Soldier 1 came to Iraq a Republican but now is a Democrat but will choose to remain silent and play along.)

SOLDIER 2

I see a Sunni on the street. I am going to give him a hug.

SOLDIER 3

I see Shia on the street. I am going to play soccer with them.

SOLDIER 4

I’m feeling sick from those sardines but I thank God George W Bush is our president because I could be stuck in Walter Reed where those nasty Democrats let the mice run the establishment.

SOLDIER 5

There is red stuff coming from my legs.

SOLDIER 6

It’s fruit punch. Iraq is great. We get the best drinks.

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